We fight the truth
Surrendering to the truth is the key to seeing what needs to be done
There is a major difference between our reality and the reality of life. In the reality of life, things just are. What happened is what happened. What’s so is what so. Period. Our realty consists of thoughts, feelings, emotion and points of view. To say this another way, there is the truth and there are our feelings about it.
A good way to see this is to look at upsets. Find a time when you were upset. Didn’t something happen? Yes. Something happened. That’s the truth. It happened. Now notice how totally irrelevant your feelings were about it. No matter how upset you were, it still happened. There is the truth of what happened and there are our feelings about it. The two are never, never connected in reality. They are only connected in our mind.
What's so is always what's so
My wife and I have a cat. No matter how I feel about it, that cat won’t bark. I can yell at the cat and I can plead with the cat, but no matter what I do, the cat still won’t bark. The same is true about life.
At any moment, the people in your life are the way that they are. You are the way that you are and the circumstances of your life are the way that they are. Everything may change tomorrow, but at any moment, what’s so is always what’s so. The cat isn't going to bark.
If you are at peace with the truth of what's so, you will be very effective. You will have peace of mind. You will be creative and resourceful. You will see your situation clearly and can see what needs to be done.
Look at the areas of your life that work great. These area areas where you can flow with whatever happens. You may not like what happens, but you don’t get upset and you can take effective action.
Now look at the areas of your life that don’t work. These are areas where you can’t flow. When you fight the truth of what’s so, you create a state of fear, upset, and tunnel vision. You destroy your ability to see clearly and you interact in a way that tends to magnify the problem.
When you can't see the truth, you can't see what you need to do and you can't take effective action. For example, handling a situation without seeing the truth is like trying to open a door when you can’t see that it’s locked. You may spend a lot of energy trying to force the door open, but you won’t be very effective.
Once you surrender to the truth, you restore your ability to see clearly. You may not like what you see, but at least you can see it. Instead of trying to force open a locked door, you can put your focus on finding a key. You can then take action that is appropriate to your situation.
Surrender to the truth
Look at any relationship you have that isn’t working and notice that the other person is exactly the way he or she is. Notice that this is true no matter how you feel about it. That cat doesn’t bark and your feelings are totally irrelevant.
Now notice the direction of your focus. Instead of looking to see what needs to be done, based on the truth of the way the person is, the focus is on fighting the truth. Instead of focusing on solutions, the focus is on resisting.
We think that the cat is the problem, but it isn’t. The cat is just the cat. The real problem is our fighting the truth. Effective action can handle a situation, but not the inner state of resisting.
If you could surrender to the truth of the way the person is, you would see your situation clearly and could see what needs to be done. If the person isn’t for you, you may need to move on, but you don’t have to fight the cat for not barking. You can end the conflict and restore the love, one human being to another. We’ll talk more about this later.
When you fight the way someone is, you radiate non-acceptance no matter what words you use. You destroy love and fuel the cycle of conflict. You lose your ability to find solutions and you act in a way that makes your situation worse. This condition is present in any relationship that isn't working.
Do you have a painful relationship?
Do you have a painful relationship or an area of life that isn’t working? Would you like to have this area of your life clear up? You can. The best way to do this is to work directly with Bill Ferguson. You can also attend our weekend workshop, Return To The Heart. Give us a call. We can talk about your situation and create a plan of action.
You can heal your relationships and create a great life, but you have to know how. Both the video course and the free e-course walk you through the steps. As you work with the lessons, you change your life.