The next step
You can end conflict, heal hurt, and restore love in any relationship
If you have read the articles, you know that love is never enough to have a relationship be great. The divorce courts are full of people who love each other. To have a relationship be great, you need to feel loved. It’s the experience of love that makes the difference.
Normally, we make the other person responsible for the presence or absence of love. Then we treat the person according to how that person treats us, but when we do this, we lose our power. We give it to the other person. Then it’s the other person that determines what happens, not us.
The key to being effective in relationships is to take 100% responsibility for the presence or absence of love. This gives you the power to determine what will happen in your relationship. When you blame the other person, you may be telling the truth, but you are also throwing your power away.
We throw our power away because some nerve is being triggered. Our circumstances have triggered the childhood hurt of feeling worthless, not good enough, not worth loving, a failure, or some other form of feeling not okay. It’s not the truth that we are this way, it’s just a suppressed emotion, but it’s an emotion that we will do almost anything to avoid feeling.
When this emotion gets triggered, we feel threatened and become defensive. In an automatic, subconscious attempt to avoid this treat, we fight, resist, hang on and withdraw. We destroy love and fuel the cycle of conflict.
It only takes one person to heal a relationship
Fortunately, this destructive cycle can be removed. This is because a cycle of conflict requires two people to exist. It’s like a tennis volley. As soon as someone refuses to return the serve, the volley is over.
The key to ending the volley is simple. Heal your hurt and remove your resistance towards the other person. When you do this, the negativity stops and you become very effective. You can then interact out of the love instead of the upset. When you interact out of the love, you create more love. When you interact out of the upset, you create more upset.
If both of you work to restore the love, it will make your life a lot easier, but it’s not necessary. Even if the other person is unwilling to do anything, there is a lot you can do. When you change how you relate to the other person, you change how that person responds to you.
The articles on this site walk you through the basic steps, but understanding what to do and actually doing it are two totally different things. That’s why it helps to have someone walk you through the healing process.
The best way to restore the love in your relationship is to work directly with Bill Ferguson. He can identify the specific underlying condition that is sabotaging your relationship. Then he can work with you to remove it. The process is very fast.
To work with the material over time, take our free Mastery of Life E-course. Each weekly lesson provides a powerful insight and offers specific action to take. As you work with the insights and take the suggested action, you change your life.
Do you have a painful relationship?
Do you have a painful relationship or an area of life that isn’t working? Would you like to have this area of your life clear up? You can. The best way to do this is to work directly with Bill Ferguson. You can also attend our weekend workshop, Return To The Heart. Give us a call. We can talk about your situation and create a plan of action.
You can heal your relationships and create a great life, but you have to know how. Both the video course and the free e-course walk you through the steps. As you work with the lessons, you change your life.