It has to be a fit
If your relationship isn’t a fit,
you are going to suffer
In order for a relationship to be great, it has to be a fit. It’s like a pair of shoes. No matter how great the shoes are, if they are too small, you are going to have problems. The same is true for relationships. If your relationship isn’t a fit, you are going to suffer.
The problem with this is that you don’t know if your relationship is a fit or not. It could be that your relationship is a perfect fit, but there is so much conflict and hurt, it doesn’t feel like it. The two of you can be interacting with each other in a way that is very destructive.
Get rid of the destructive behavior
The opportunity is to get rid of the destructive behavior – end the conflict, heal the hurt, and restore the love – not as husband and wife, but as one human being to another. As you do this, it starts becoming obvious as to whether you should stay together or move on.
When you focus on the experience of love, the relationship will automatically evolve to a state that is perfect for the two of you. If your relationship is a fit, you will come together like magnets. If it’s not a fit, you will go your separate ways, but you will do it in a way that is loving and supportive.
The key to restoring love is to accept and appreciate the other person just the way the person is. When you do this, you create the experience of love. The other person feels empowered and automatically gives it back to you. Acceptance is very powerful. It’s can also be a very difficult thing to do. Fortunately, acceptance is nothing more than surrendering to the truth. That person is the way that person is and your feelings about it don’t change a thing.
Focus on restoring the love one human being to another
Surrendering to the truth allows you to see the truth. When you can see the truth you can see what you need to do. You may discover that the person isn’t for you. That’s okay. You may also discover that you just need to give a little more love.
The worst thing you can do is to get upset at the person for being the way he or she is. This is like getting upset at the cat because it doesn’t bark. Getting upset doesn’t change a thing and it is guaranteed to destroy love and make your situation worse.
So surrender to the truth and put your focus on making sure the other person feels loved, accepted and appreciated as a human being that doesn’t bark. Let go of your demands for how the person should be. Then do whatever you need to do.
Put the focus on restoring the love, one human being to another, and don’t worry about whether you are together or not. Focus on the love and let nature run its course. When you do this, everything else takes care of itself.
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